A Toast to Brendan...

On a chilly autumn morning in 1978, something happened that changed the O’Bryhim family forever.  While walking through the wilds of Cedar Lakes Village near Harry and Rock, we heard a whimpering coming from the bushes.  

Much to our surprise, a semi-feral pack of border collies sprang from the foliage, leaving behind the man-cub we would name Brendan. Though still sporting a vestigial tail, we raised him as a human boy.  His border collie instincts never fully went away.  Just take a look at his bathroom sometime...you’ll see what I’m talking about.  His loyal packmates, Pepper and Jake, keep an eye on him to this very day.

Over the course of Brendan’s life, I have conducted a scientific program to create...the perfect brother.  Through a series of highly technical experiments, I have instilled a number of important life lessons in his psyche.

Life Lesson #1 - “Loyalty”...One day when Brendan was a toddler and I was about 4, I heard him crying in his bedroom.  Mom was nowhere to be found (probably drinking).  I knew I must stay loyal to my brother and stay with him.  However, nature was calling.  So, I made the right decision:  I pooped in the trash can.  Unfortunately, I missed.  It’s harder than it looks.

Life Lesson #2 - “Adversity”...One year for Christmas, Brendan very much wanted the G.I. Joe Jeep.  So when Christmas morning came, and I opened one of my presents, I was most pleasantly surprised to receive...the G.I. Joe Jeep.  Brendan was less pleased.  I can neither confirm nor deny whether I switched the labels.  However, I will say that I enjoy playing with it to this very day.

Life Lesson #3 - “Disappointment”...For years, there have been slanderous rumors that I may have been somewhat “careless” with Brendan’s things.  I may have occasionally broken a toy or 2...I may have broken the antenna on his boombox (it still worked afterwards)...but I did these things to show Brendan that with life comes disappointment.  You’re welcome!

Life Lesson #4 - “Never put your guard down”...Life sometimes takes you by surprise, so you must always be prepared.  So, when Brendan was 8, and we decided to go to a movie, I knew it was time to test Brendan’s reflexes.  He was sitting in the backseat, and I had the garage door opener in my pocket.  Soon thereafter, the rear window shattered all over my brother.  Never let your guard down, Brendan.

But there is one life lesson that I couldn’t teach Brendan.  That lesson he’s learned from Iris.  Life Lesson #5 - Unconditional, romantic love

Brendan, thank you for becoming the perfect brother.  Iris, thank you for joining our family and becoming the sister I never had.

Book Abortion...Series Edition

A single tear slid down my cheek as I gingerly placed the book on the counter.  Cherry, my personal Book-a-Holic Salesperson, lowered her head in sadness, for she knew what I was about to say.

"Cherry," I spoke in a hushed voice, "I...don't need these books anymore."

"Would you like cash or trade credit?" she whispered.

"What I'd like...no...NEED...is peace of mind," I responded.

"What happened?" she asked, the timbre of her voice wavering with the emotion of the moment.

"I really liked Gardens of the Moon...and Deadhouse Gates was very solid.  But I began to grow estranged from the series even during that second book.  The enormous number of characters, the strange names, it all became so confusing, even with an index of names.  And some of my favorite characters appeared and disappeared...it caused so much pain..."

I looked down at the floor, trying to collect myself.

"When I started Memories of Ice, I never would have dreamed I would close that cover forever without finishing the book.  I wouldn't have dared guess I would come here with the fourth book completely unread..."

Cherry gave me a look steeped in compassion, "The Malazan Book of the Fallen series is famously intricate and detailed...and long.  No one will blame you for stopping."

"I need no one else's forgiveness...only my own," I replied, my eyes betraying my sorrow.

"I can give you $3 for all these."

"Sweet," I replied, "that happens to be the price of my regret."

Jolly Old ISIS

According to this article in USA Today, more British Muslims fight for ISIS than for the British Armed Forces.

Britain's Ministry of Defense confirmed to USA TODAY that there are approximately 600 British Muslim servicemembers in its armed forces of almost 200,000 people. Official government estimates put the number of British Islamic State fighters operating in Syria and Iraq at up to 800...

 Khalid Mahmood, a member of Parliament from an area with a high proportion of Muslim residents, said government estimates of the number of British Islamic State fighters currently in the Mideast is far too conservative. He told Newsweek magazine this week that at least 1,500 extremists are likely to have been recruited to fight in Iraq and Syria over the last three years.

It goes without saying that this is a profoundly disturbing set of facts for the future of UK.  Approximately 5% of the people in the UK are Muslim.  Due to birth rates and immigration, that percentage will almost certainly continue to grow.  According to several surveys of British Muslim opinion, attitudes amongst younger Muslims tend to be more antagonistic towards British society.  36% of 16-24 year olds believe that the punishment for a Muslim leaving Islam should be death.  Only 19% of the 55+ crowd have a similar belief.  Overall, 28% of British Muslims hoped that the UK would eventually become an Islamic state.

The good news is that the majority of British Muslims do not share these beliefs.  However, the proportion of British Muslims that reject the cultural traditions and mores of England is a testament to the decline in the confidence of the modern Western nation-state.  Many people believed that by attacking the concept of English (American, French, you name it) nationalism and patriotism, they would be able to inculcate a universalist ideology that would replace the messy nationalist creeds of the 19th and 20th centuries.  Instead, the result has been tribalism in the form of religious fervor.

People want to believe in something.  If a culture loses its confidence in its core beliefs, people will find something else to believe in.  That something else is not going to be the brotherhood of man, the United Nations, or anything so benign.  Instead, it will be something that can actually inspire the fire in a young man's belly:  Religion, tribe, nation, etc.

If a nation so loses its own confidence that it is unable or unwilling to make a case for its own value, it cannot survive in the long-term.  The major political parties in Europe have lost sight of the value of their own cultures.  Thus, new immigrants are not taught to value their new countries.  The eventual result can only be catastrophe.  Already, various Euroskeptic and anti-immigrant parties have made headway across the continent.  This should be no surprise.  The undemocratic nature of the European Union has disguised the disgust felt amongst the average citizen towards the immigration policies of their home countries.  The new parties have arisen in response to the traditional parties unwillingness to face the problem.

The endgame for all this is unclear.  But there are several possibilities:

1.  Major parties find the zeal of the convert and coopt the more reasonable platforms of their new rivals, resulting in sane immigration and naturalization policies that limit immigration, end perverse incentives caused by welfare payments to new immigrants, and encourage new immigrants to acculturate to their new home.

2.  They continue to ignore the problem, causing new, and ever-more radical parties to rise to prominence.  These parties will only exacerbate the problems between Muslim communities and the majority.  Eventually, this could lead to actual Fascism...which Europe is quite familiar with.

3.  The major parties bend to the will of the radical Islamists and allow the character of the nation to be changed through a lack of willingness to confront totalitarianism and theocratic fascism for what it is.  The results of this would be subtle at first...a rise in anti-Semitism, special treatment of Muslims at the expense of others, a blind eye to barbaric cultural traditions.  Some of this is already happening.

Let's hope for #1