Actually, I don't care about birth control. Feel free to use an IUD while reading this...or not.
Today, the Supreme Court gave us the absurd spectacle of our enormous, complex, and inefficient federal government deciding the precise composition of your health plan. Did you think you would get a choice in deciding the composition of your health plan? Silly you. No, actually, you are not able to make that choice. The federal government will decide which procedures your health insurance plan must or must not include. It's best that they make that choice for you. You see, it's much more efficient for the federal government to tell the insurance company what to do...who then tells your doctor what to do. So elegant and simple!
Today's ruling is a lovely reminder that our government is getting all up in your health care. The multiple health insurance bureaucracies that we have enjoyed for so many years are now to be coupled with a government bureaucracy. Surely this will lead to cost-savings...SURELY! There's nothing better than the melding of one bad system onto another bad system. Two negatives equals a positive...am I right, math teachers?!?
Imagine, instead, a system where you directly paid a doctor for routine medical care, WITHOUT the involvement of an insurance company. Then, if something went really badly, you would use your health insurance to pay for that (this is the definition of insurance, before it came to mean "paying for everything"). We have built a system that has an enormous number of people involved in your health care. Far too many people. And each of those people take a cut...and we wonder why health care is so expensive.
And guess what, if the insurance industry and government were removed from the equation, your birth control would be a lot cheaper.
"The AP reports brawls between Croatian and Mexican soccer fans at the World Cup yesterday..."
"Several sources report ethnic cleansing of Mexican section."
Ballad of the Shirtless Croatian Warrior
by Ivano Petrovic
[in broken English with Croatian accent] in 2 stanzas
My name Ivano.
Came to Brazil to watch Croatian football team.
On way to game, got lost in favela...
Bad news for favela. Good news for funeral business.
Not easy to choke man to death in favela AND smoke cigarette.
But doable.
Football game no good.
Mexicans chant "puto" at us Croatian fans.
Don't know if this is insult...
...but beat three men to death with program just in case.
Not easy to beat man to death with program AND smoke cigarette.
But doable.
Worst day at World Cup like best day in Balkan War.
Capital by Thomas Piketty - This anti-grammar screed by Los Angeles 4th grader Thomas "tommy" Piketty rails against his teacher's attempts to get him to capitalize letters even though "lower-case is a lot cooler."
Killing Jesus by Bill O'Reilly - This shocking book-length confession details O'Reilly's participation in the death of his long-time gardener.
Insurgent by Veronica Roth - A memoir by former female Jihadi Veronica al-Hamza that details her journey from Iraqi terrorist to wife of celebrity novelist Philip Roth.
Looking for Alaska by John Green - This acclaimed memoir details Green's lifelong struggle with the little understood, and extraordinarily rare, Geographic Illiteracy Syndrome. Readers will get a birds-eye view of his doctors' race to find a cure.
Duty: Memoirs of a Secretary at War by Robert Gates - This catty tell-all by Bill Gates' older brother, and personal secretary, reveals the secrets behind the battles between corporate office-staff at Microsoft in the heady dot.com boom times of the late 1990s
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion - A look back at the 2009 effort by President Obama to create a better health care system.
Hard Choices by Hillary Clinton - A shocking piece of erotica by the former First Lady...it details one woman's struggle to decide between two virile lovers.
Orange Is The New Black by Piper Kerman - This book details the rise of the Wichita Wings in the 1980s.
And finally...
The Fault in Our Lars by James Hetfield - This tell-all memoir details the trials and tribulations of Metallica's lead singer...and his long-standing feud with drummer Lars Ulrich.
I think it's about time I picked up where I left off. I vaguely remember shooting people...I don't know what country they were from. As I recall, we were being invaded. Will my muscle memory activate? I don't know. I'm not sure I'll remember how to reload. Strategy? Try not to get killed I guess.
I last played Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 in early 2009. So it's been a good 5+ years, but I feel like now is the time to pick it up again. I don't know if my PS3 will even remember I played it or just make me start over. "Who are you, bro? Do you even game?" I can hear its mocking questions now...
My video game life started in 1982 or so with the ColecoVision that my parents bought for us.
Donkey Kong was my favorite, although I'm pretty sure we had Frogger as well, which I also enjoyed. Qbert not so much. My neighbor down the street had an Atari, and he would let me watch him play, which was THRILLING. I might have gotten to play one game for every 100 of his. Maybe.
I graduated to a Nintendo a few years later and made defeating Super Mario Brothers 2 my own personal vision quest.
Eventually I succeeded, but at great cost to my thumbs. Tecmo Bowl was totally rad on Nintendo. Lawrence Taylor and Walter Payton were both pretty awesome on that game, but Bo Jackson was completely unstoppable on one particular running play.
Mike Tyson's Punchout was memorable for many reasons, including my favorite opponents, Soda Popinski...
...and King Hippo.
I also have a soft spot in my heart for Duck Hunt and what at the time seemed to be an amazing technology that allowed the TV screen to register hits from the gun. It was magic.
In college, during my senior year, my roommate Jud had a Sony Playstation, which was a huge leap in graphics from the Nintendo. It was then that I played my favorite video game of all time: Twisted Metal 2.
With a soothing and tasteful soundtrack provided by jazz legend Rob Zombie, this game occupied many, many hours of my final year in college. In fact, I remember my fraternity brother Ken skipping one of his finals to play this game in my living room (as I recall, he had a guaranteed "D" even if he skipped it).
Eventually I would buy a PS2 and explore the many iterations of Call of Duty. I sure do love to kill Nazis. My PS3 has known only first-person shooter games, with COD:MW2 the most prominent. Perhaps I will take up arms and defend America again soon.
There has been a great deal of commentary about Iraq these past few weeks. This is thanks to the efforts of the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) to conquer as much of Iraq as possible. Of course, the blame game has begun, which made me start thinking back to 2003. I, like most Americans, believed an invasion of Iraq was necessary to dislodge Saddam Hussein from power. I was joined in this view by Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and John Kerry, among others. My own thoughts at the time were that the odious Hussein regime's treatment of its people was so awful, his history of violence against Iraq's neighbors, and support of terrorism so pervasive, and their WMD program so mysterious and undefined, that the best option was to remove Saddam from power.
I was offended by the idea that democracy couldn't work for Arabs. I believed that once Saddam was removed, the people of Iraq, with the help of Americans, could institute a democratic transition that would eventually provide them with a functioning republic. I didn't forsee the following:
1. Saddam's regime effectively destroyed any vestige of civil society through its cruel treatment of the people of Iraq. All institutions of power were completely corrupted by the one iron rule of Iraq: The only law is the word of Saddam. This left no base to build upon after the fall of his regime.
2. The cruelty of Saddam's regime towards the Shia meant that the first thing on the minds of many in that community was REVENGE.
3. The incredible resilience of tribalism, and its triumph over the modern nation-state. It was this tribalism that fed the insurgency against the Americans by the Sunni. The Sunni tribes knew that the new Iraqi government would be dominated by the large Shiite majority, and the Americans were making that possible. Sunni extremists were happy to provide the firepower. Only when al-Qaeda began to overreach and undermine the Sunni tribes did the Anbar Awakening begin and the power of al-Qaeda whither away.
Like many people, the painful experience in Iraq led me toward a re-examining of what American foreign policy can achieve. For me, that led to a more Realist perspective on foreign policy. I had forgotten the always important Law of Unintended Consequences. This states that it is always true that government policies will have unintended consequences and sometimes these will be worse than the original problem the policy was intended to fix. The political Right should keep in mind this law applies both to domestic AND foreign policy.
What's happening in Iraq right now is a consequence of the current Shiite-dominated Iraqi regime's mistreatment of the Sunni minority. They have shut them out of the halls of power, and the Sunni tribes have turned to ISIS to help them recover some of that power. In that sense, it's nobody's fault but Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and his allies. However, the domestic political considerations of President Obama led to a complete withdrawal of US troops from Iraq. He promised he would do it, and he did. A wiser choice would have been to leave 1,000 to 2,000 military advisers behind to help shore up the Iraqi security forces and act as a positive influence on both the Iraqi government and the relevant tribes. The cost of this small force would have been militarily and economically insignificant and it might have helped prevent the power grab by al-Maliki that's resulted in the rise of ISIS.
But the past can't be undone. Which leaves the present predicament. We have many bad options, some less bad than others. In the short-term, leaving Iran's proxy forces to battle it out with ISIS is a good example of a time when it would be nice to see both sides lose. This result would weaken two actors that wish us ill-will. But it would not be a particularly moral choice. The civilians of Iraq would suffer the most. Alternatively, if we intervene on the behalf of the Iraqi government, we become the Shiite Air Force. This would anger the Sunnis, including the moderate ones who have legitimate grievances against al-Maliki's government.
The best bad option is to covertly supply intelligence information to the Iraqi government, while simultaneously attempting to persuade al-Maliki to resign so that a new, more inclusive government can bring Sunnis and Kurds back into the power structure. If this doesn't work, then I believe we cast our lot with the Kurds, support their quasi-independent state and use it as a base to harass al-Qaeda as needed.
I am generally in favor of a policy of being LESS active in the Middle East. We can do great harm and little good there. That is why I believe the best policy is one that encourages good governance in Iraq, while simultaneously subtly degrading the capabilities of al-Qaeda and ISIS through small-scale covert means.
I am not optimistic about Iraq being able to maintain itself as a nation-state. The forces of religion and tribalism are too strong in that part of the world. However, I do believe we must try to keep it together, for the sake of the millions of people likely to suffer if Iraq breaks apart.
The subject being analyzed today is an example of extreme bachelorhood. Document #1 above illustrates several components of bachelorhood. Note the socks and boxer shorts combination. This is evidence of not caring about his appearance at home. Data is lacking on whether or not he is wearing a shirt. Circumstantial evidence points to this being unlikely. The picture also indicates couch potato activity as evidenced by the television being on. Further research confirms both a Cox TV account (with far more channels than he could possibly watch) and a Netflix account. The Netflix account has both a streaming AND a physical DVD/Blu-Ray component. Highly disturbing.
Doc. #2
It appears there are 3 beers, a bottle of Pepsi, some Diet Cherry 7-Up, and...some cheese. A background interview has confirmed that the one actual food item is a yogurt cup someone else left there months ago...likely long expired. When asked why he hadn't thrown it away, the subject replied non-verbally, with a shrug of his shoulders. This was followed by him talking to himself about needing to clean out the kitchen.
Doc. #3
He is good on nuts and Sweet 'n Low. Further interviews determined that uses it for tea in the winter. However, when pressed he seemed unsure whether he liked tea or just lots of Sweet 'n Low in something liquid. The presence of Big League Chew is highly disturbing for a man his age. He replied with the following statement:
"You put a pinch between your cheek and gum!"
Conclusions:
- Actual Emotional Age: 23
- Desperately needs a woman's touch in his household.
- Nutrition level: Famine
I live just west of Eastborough, or as I like to call it, "Westborough" (don't worry, no Phelps family gatherings in this Westborough!) I can't really imagine living anywhere else in Wichita. I'm right near several highways, so I can get just about anywhere quickly. I'm north of Kellogg, so I don't have to live with shame and embarrassment, and I'm south of Central, so drive-by shootings aren't a problem.
At this point in this blog post, you've probably noticed how snotty I'm being about my neighborhood. Welcome to Wichita! It's what we do here. No self-respecting Wichitan can go for long without denigrating the other parts of the city where the rest of the unfortunates live. This is particularly true of the Great Eastside-Westside Debate (GEWD). It's said that the west side has an inferiority complex. This makes sense, since they have much to feel inferior about. For years, GEWD has been the number one talking point for your average citizen of Doo-Dah (one of several self-inflicted nicknames for our lovely burgh).
Growing up, I was vaguely aware that left of downtown there was another city, one much more unsavory than our own. I knew that in the wilds of west Wichita you could find all kinds of strange and exotic creatures. Besides that, you could also go to the zoo! Of course, I was raised to care for the less fortunate, so we would always participate in the sponsorship of west-siders. I still remember the fundraising letters: "For only $1 a day, you could help bring culture to the rubes..."
Ever since they got their first restaurant back in the late 1990s, the west side began to have illusions of grandeur. Children were taught book-learnin', roads were paved, and for the first time, we took down the barricades and let them come visit the east side. Packs of mangy children ravaged Towne East Mall for a time. But once law and order were restored, we were able to introduce simple cultural advances to the west side: shirts with sleeves, silverware, and car tires. Previously, the automobile had been thought of as some sort of lawn decoration, forever suspended on square blocks.
Nowadays, a west-sider is almost like a regular person. The English language has caught on to the extent that most west-side children can no longer understand basic Delano. The grunts and whistles of their ancestors are just strange sounds to them. On any given day, the distinctive west-side accent can be heard from Bradley Fair to Beech Aircraft. Sure, there are those who don't approve of the guest-worker program. But if we don't let them come over here legally, they'll just swim across the Arkansas River and work illegally in western-wear stores and bait shops. No, it's better to have an orderly process.
I'm just glad we can all be rational about this. ;-)
Tribal governance, as a political structure, has disappeared in the Western world and much of Asia. To some extent, it lives on in the Middle East and Africa. You can see its effect on the political structure of a country like Iraq right now. However, even though it may underlay some countries' official political structures, it is no longer the principal organizing factor of government. Much of this is due to the conquest and/or destruction of tribally-governed societies by nation-states or empires.
But tribalism lives in our modern world in other forms. Human beings yearn to group together amongst their own "kind". Not much has changed about this in the last few thousand years. In our society, we can see this in the lives we live every day. Ask yourself, what tribe do you belong to? Are you part of the Urban Progressive Tribe? Do you drive a Prius, consume organic foods, listen to NPR, watch Cosmos, enjoy watching soccer, and use an iPhone? If you answered "yes" to half of those questions, perhaps you are indeed. The same can be said for people who drive SUVs, eat a lot of red meat, watch Fox News, play fantasy football, and use an Android phone. There are many tribes in our modern society: Redneck, Hip-Hop, Libertarian, Evangelical Christian, etc.
Each of these tribes has a self-identity that is vital to how the members perceive themselves. Some tribes fashion themselves as intellectual, others as anti-intellectual. Some are centrally organized around religion, while others around leisure activities. But each one has a mythology about itself. Rednecks see themselves as close to nature, while Urban Progressives believes themselves to be intellectually superior to others. Each uses clothing, activities, consumer products, and language to gives cues to others that say, "hey, I'm in the ______ tribe."
The internet and social-networking have been excellent tools to help people conform to the norms of the tribe. If you look at Facebook, you will quickly learn exactly what to do and say in order to best fit into your tribe. Here's the problem: Tribes make you stupid. They make you think less. They subtly and quietly remove your need to think independently about what is right and wrong. That's why they are so popular: They make your life easier.
Do yourself a favor. Be aware of your tribe. Try to catch yourself before you react to a political issue. Think about how much of your reaction is based on your tribe. Try to think about that subject objectively. It isn't always easy. Tribalism acts subtly to make this difficult. The easiest way to keep yourself from becoming too tribal is to sample the ideas and opinions of other tribes. Delve into their universes...see how they think. Was your last Facebook post intended to impress other members of your tribe? Was it a way for you to let outsiders know what tribe you belong to? Think more deeply about your interaction with the world. It will make you a better human being and more likely to react logically to the world.
Any human being can be a slave to their tribe. Think outside the tribe...you might find it refreshing.
Bizarro World Cup Results (based on 2-on-2 games between past or present NBA players born in each country, with results converted to soccer scores)
Brazil vs. Croatia
The outside shooting of Drazen Petrovic and Toni Kukoc is too much for Nene Hilario and Leandro Barbosa. Poor free-throw shooting by Hilario results in a narrow Croatian victory. Croatia 3 Brazil 2 Advantage: Croatia Uruguay vs. Costa Rica
Uruguay's Esteban Batista spends 45 minutes on layup drills by himself. Costa Ricans appeal to FIFA on grounds of unfairness. Appeal denied. Costa Ricans appeal to FIFA with $10,000. Appeal granted. Costa Rica 0 Uruguay 0 Advantage: FIFA Mexico vs. Cameroon Eduardo Najera plays with the characteristic grit Big 12 fans remember. Unfortunately, with little support from Gustavo Ayon, Mexico just isn't quick enough to defend against the slashing drives of Luc Mbah a Moute. Ayon and Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje cancel each other out. Cameroon 1 Mexico 0 Advantage: Cameroon
Colombia vs. Greece
Giannis Antetokounmpo practices dunking over the Colombian National Basketball team members. After a blowout, Colombian cartels collectively put a contract out on entire Colombian team. Greece 15 Colombia 0 Advantage: Greece (and cartels) Spain vs. Netherlands
Despite a valiant effort from Rik "The Flying Dutchman" Smits, Netherlands is outmatched by the inside-outside combo of Pau Gasol and Ricky Rubio. Swen Nater is simply outmatched. No outside game for the Netherlands results in: Spain 3 Netherlands 0 Advantage: Spain
Chile vs. Australia
Matthew Dellavedova and Andrew Bogut show up to play...Chile forfeits. Australia N/A Chile N/A Advantage: Australia by Forfeit
England vs. Italy
The versatility of Danilo Gallinari and size of Andrea Bargnani is too much for the outmatched England team. England refuses to allow Ben Gordon and James Donaldson to play, as they spent very little time in England after their birth. Tabloids dub them "Yanks and Wankers". Last minute substitutes Joel Freeland of the Portland Trailblazers and Kelenna "Big Time Buike" Azubuike are quickly defeated. Italy 5 England 1 Advantage: Italy
Ivory Coast vs. Japan
The combined total field goals made by players from these two countries in the history of the NBA = 1 Japan 1 Ivory Coast 0 Advantage: Yuta Tabuse (parade in Japan forthcoming)
Argentina vs. Bosnia
Luis Scola dominates the paint while Manu Ginobli makes miraculous 3-pointers in a thrashing of Sasha Danilovic and Vladimir Radmanovic. Serbia celebrates Bosnia's loss. Argentina 4 Bosnia 1 Advantage: Argentina
US vs. ^^^
Magic and Bird play and defeat each nation over a 12-hour period, with no breaks in between games. Bird shoots left-handed for the first 3 hours. Magic records a quintuple-double against Italy. At the end of the final game, a light shines down from heaven and Bird and Magic slowly ascend to the cheers of the crowd. Several constellations appear in the night sky commemorating the new gods. US Infinity World Subservience Advantage: 'Merica
Tim: "I wanted to talk to you about something."
Cute Girl: "Sure, is everything okay?"
Tim: "Absolutely." [frightened look]
Cute Girl: "Are you sure? This doesn't sound good."
Tim: "Well, it's something that I think I ought to tell you about...I mean, I really like you, I enjoy all this time we've been spending together, and I think things between us could really lead somewhere. You deserve to know..."
Cute Girl: "Were you in prison?"
Tim: "No, I've always been a law-abiding citizen...actually I..."
Cute Girl: "You don't have herpes do you?"
Tim: "No, I'm disease-free. It's actually about..."
Cute Girl: "Oh my God, you're married, aren't you..."
Tim: "Definitely not. It has to do with..."
Cute Girl: "Holy crap, you're into some crazy S&M stuff I bet! That explains the whips!"
Tim: "I already explained to you that I sponsor the Greater Wichita Whip Cracking Team."
Cute Girl: "Oh, I forgot about that. So...what's the big deal you wanted to tell me about?!?! You haven't been to prison, you don't have some terrible disease, what is it you are so ashamed to tell me about?"
Tim: "It's...well...I play Dungeons & Dragons.
Cute Girl: [long silence]..."Do you, like, run around the park with swords and stuff?"
Tim: [deep sigh] "No, it's really quite fun actually. You see, we sit around this table and..."
*************************************
It's important for you to know that many of us are really quite normal. We just have a hobby that much of regular society considers VERY nerdy. In fact, almost the nerdiest thing possible. The only thing nerdier than Dungeons & Dragons (or, D&D as we call it) is something called LARPing (Live Action Role Playing). Those would be the people that act out their medieval fantasies in their neighborhood park. If you've seen the movie Role Models, you'll know what I'm talking about:
That is not what we do. What we do is...well, it's kind of hard to explain. You see, we create people out of thin air. We use dice to determine their abilities, i.e. their strength, dexterity, constitution, charisma...and finally intelligence and wisdom (two different things, I assure you!) We roll dice for their height, weight, and age; though usually these "characters" start out as adults somewhere around 18-21 years old. Once we figure out what these characters are good at, we can decide their "class", i.e. their job. If they have great strength, maybe they'll be a fighter. High dexterity often leads to the creation of a thief. Super intelligent characters make excellent wizards.
Then what do you do? Well, someone has to figure out what these characters are going to do. That person is the Dungeon Master, or DM. Nowadays, a lot of the young whippersnappers use the term Game Master, or GM. But, I prefer to embrace the even nerdier term. I'm a Dungeon Master. There, I said it. I'm the guy that decides what these characters get up to. Ideally, a set of characters can last months or even years. The course of those adventures is called a "campaign". The characters in my campaign live in a pre-made world called Greyhawk. You wouldn't believe the intricacy of the maps and the vivid descriptions of the towns, monsters, and people that have been made about this world over the last 30 years (ah, when you are standing in the Cairn Hills, watching the sun set over the Nyr Dyv Sea, it's breathtaking). Because Greyhawk has so much depth to it, you can place the characters into this world and be confident there are plenty of interesting places to see, and, of course, monsters to slay.
I usually make these adventures on my own, although you can also buy pre-made adventures called "modules". I prefer to come up with a grand plan for my players and then, over the course of months, we follow that plot where it leads us. Scratch that. More often, we follow where the players actions take us. I never know what the characters will decide to do. Sometimes, they do very foolish things...and we run with it. A good DM knows how to lead them back to the story arc, and I will eventually guide them back there, unless they get themselves killed.
What happens when these characters run into a goblin or two? Well, we've got rules for that. Lots of rules. Hit points, Armor Class, THAC0, Savings Throws, Initiative, and lots of dice rolling...especially 20-sided die. Needless to say, a lot of this is complicated. The good news is the players don't really need to know much...as long as their DM knows the rules, it works pretty well. And it sure helps to have a Dungeon Masters Guide and Player's Handbook...the two bibles that help me figure out whether that Red Dragon can gain "surprise" against my players, who gets to attack first, and how much damage occurs. And don't even get me started on the different sets of rules for each edition (I'm a 2nd edition man, myself).
There are six of us in our group, all pretty accomplished, well-adjusted, cool people. No zeroes, misfits, sociopaths, or extreme loners in the bunch. There's even one pretty girl in the group. Though, in full-disclosure, the guy/girl ratio in D&D is usually pretty skewed to the y-chromosome. So, why do we choose to spend hours doing all this? Because it's a lot of fun...and friggin' hilarious.
Hilarious? Slaying dragons? How so? Well, actually, you don't run into dragons much, and they are very hard to kill, but that's neither here nor there. Let me explain how comedy happens...The players make up the personalities of their created character. If you play with clever people, as I do, then this leads to great hilarity. As in, the arrogant cavalier (a type of knight) who looked down on everyone, and would speak through his helmet in a haughty tone of voice. The player would create this effect by speaking into a plastic cup. He decided to name his character's charger (a type of horse) Antonio Gates (you NFL fans will appreciate the joke) and insisted on bringing the horse everywhere, including an underground dungeon. This eventually led to a comical scene of the horse being hoisted out with ropes.
Players will come up with all kinds of odd personality traits for the characters. There was the fighter who loved bacon and was freaked out by halflings and their hairy feet (think Frodo)...the eager-to-please priest that addressed everyone as "m'lord"...the lothario who bedded every reasonably attractive female he ran into, inevitably causing problems for the party...the alcoholic who specialized in poor decision-making...and the creepy wizard who was always collecting body parts. As DM, I throw in Non-Player Characters (NPCs) to interact with the player characters. My personal favorite recurring NPC is the over-the-top effeminate sphinx named Ron, who, when not speaking in riddles and granting wishes, works as a doorman at a bar.
Much of the fun that we have is dependent on the players coming up with ingenious schemes to get what they want. My favorite scheme was the time the group got their hands on a magical box that would fold out into a 24-foot boat when a special command word was spoken. While scouting out the enemy, one of the players was flying overhead (the Wings of Flying came in handy that night) and decided to say the command word as he dropped the box on top of our hapless foes. I set the scene by describing the bad guys as chatting with each other when an oar falls in front of them. One of the guys says, "Hey, where'd that come from..." In unison, they looked up...Squish.
The truth is, there are few things I enjoy as much as D&D. Much of the joy comes from the creation of another person, whom you inhabit and act through. But, even more than that, it's the fun we have as a group together. The social aspect of the game is the best part. Interacting with each other, we make the world come to life. It's like reading a book, or watching a movie...except you determine the plot. Perhaps, the next time I meet a girl I like, I'll tell her about my D&D habit right away.
What is your favorite novel? Quick, tell me the genre of fiction in which it belongs? Oh wait, I DON’T CARE. The reason I don’t care is because genre does not matter. It is irrelevant. It does not determine the value of the novel. It exists for two purposes:
1. To make it easier for consumers of fiction to find a book they might like.
2. To let esteemed book prize panels know which books they shouldn’t select for inclusion on the awards list, and literary critics know what not to review.
There has arisen over the last 50 years a category of novel called literary fiction. This subgenre is so important that I even put in italics! It is among this category that book prizes are usually awarded. You will find many holders of MFA’s in Creative Writing amongst the winners...and many residents of New York City and London. You will also find many overrated and mediocre novels...and many wonderful novels that will expand your world.
The Man Booker prize is supposed to be the most distinguished book award for writers from Great Britain or the British Commonwealth (it was expanded to all writers in English in 2013). It also contains two novels that I couldn’t finish. The Old Devils by Kingsley Amis seemed a good bet. Amis’ Lucky Jim is one of the great comic novels of the last half of the 20th century. I loved it! Alas, no luck with The Old Devils. Perhaps a novel about the aged battles against our hidden prejudices. People want to read about the young...or at least middle-aged. A little bit of vigor helps I suppose.
Oh Hilary Mantel! I greatly enjoy English history...why couldn’t I stay awake for Wolf Hall? I felt ashamed by my lack of enthusiasm for this novel. I do teach history after all. All the right people said it was wonderful. Snoresville City.
Don’t give up on the Booker Prize yet, because lo and behold, The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro (he’s English, so it counts) is a superb novel. Full of life, and fascinating characters, it won me over after only a few pages. What’s my point here? That literary fiction isn’t necessarily any better than any other kind of fiction. You can find wonderful novels and lackluster ones anywhere.
To breathe life into a character...to bring words to life...to entrance a reader with a story...skill with language...these things are not exclusive to any genre. For me, the Black Company series, the First Law series, and a couple of George Pelecanos’ mystery/thrillers (Drama City and Hell to Pay) can do all these things just as well as some of the great literary fiction novels I’ve read. Is it a matter of taste? Am I simply not sophisticated enough? Perhaps. But, I choose to believe that great writing knows no boundaries. It is great. Or it is not.
It is always a good thing when a POW returns home. Regardless of the circumstances, the return of Bowe Bergdahl from the clutches of the Taliban should be met with relief and thankfulness. Though he was most likely a deserter and thus should be subject to military justice, it was important that the US military retrieve him. Even the most wayward soldier deserves to come home.
It is likely that his foolish and careless decision to leave camp and wander into the villages and wilds of Afghanistan indirectly led to the deaths of other American soldiers. However, it is important to remember that the direct responsibility for those deaths lies at the hands of those who pulled the trigger or planted the bombs; i.e. the Taliban. This does not mean Bergdahl is blameless, but it does mean that like many young men, he likely didn’t fully consider the consequences of his actions.
There has already been speculation about the degree of collaboration he had with the Taliban while in captivity. There is no conclusive evidence as to what Bergdahl did or did not say to his captors. But, it is important to remember that collaboration made under duress is a different animal than that given willingly and gleefully. The case of the American POWs in North Vietnam is instructive. Virtually all of them, including John McCain, signed “confessions” made under duress. These were, of course, intended solely as a tool of propaganda and were achieved through torture. Bergdahl certainly deserves the benefit of the doubt on this charge.
I have less compassion for the dishonorable and deceitful way this episode has been handled by the Obama administration. I hesitate to question the deal itself: Five Taliban leaders for one American soldier may not seem fair, but in a situation like this, it was the Taliban that held all the cards. No, the deal may be rotten, but it’s likely the best we could do. What bothers me specifically is the way it was dealt with by the Obama administration.
The White House Rose Garden ceremony stunk of the worst kind of PR stunt. An occasion that called for a quiet transfer of prisoners became a celebration of the Obama administration’s “great” achievement. Trotting out the long-suffering parents and letting the father bizarrely mouth a Muslim benediction to the microphones seemed to be an extremely poor decision. This was a deal not worth celebrating. His return home IS worth celebrating, but the deal itself was not some stroke of brilliance, it was simply the best we could get under the circumstances.
Surely the administration knows full well the circumstances of Bergdahl’s disappearance? Why would they attempt to sugarcoat it? Even worse, National Security Advisor Susan Rice credits Bergdahl as serving with “honor and distinction”, knowing that he, at best, abandoned, and, at worst, deserted his comrades. Then, Defense secretary Chuck Hagel said he was “unaware” of any deaths of soldiers who were looking for Bergdahl, contradicting the claim made my multiple American soldiers who served in Afghanistan. Additionally, Hagel’s claim that Bergdahl’s death was imminent has been disputed by the intelligence community. All the while, President Obama refuses to apologize for his decision.
Some pundits see the prisoner exchange as a cynical way to start emptying Guantanamo. If you start with execrable characters like the ones released in this deal (they were judged as being very likely to continue military activities upon their release), then it becomes easier to release the rest. I very much hope this was not the administration’s motivation.
The most disturbing part of this entire affair has been the administration’s attempt to turn this situation into some sort of political triumph. The president, his cabinet, and his other advisors have attempted to make a hero where none exists and have contorted themselves into impossible positions while doing so. But the worst effect of all this is likely to be Pres. Obama’s relationship with the military. The evidence, based on interviews with Bergdahl’s fellow soldiers, and the anecdotal reports by retired military members speaking with their active colleagues, has been that there is an overwhelmingly negative reaction amongst the military to the administration’s actions. They have foolishly given the appearance of siding with a deserter over active members of the military who stayed true to their oaths.
Sidenote: There has been talk of impeaching President Obama for breaking the law by not informing Congress of the Taliban release. While it is true he did break the law, the law itself is almost certainly unconstitutional. Article 2 of the Constitution gives the president power to conduct foreign policy, not the Congress.
Ridiculous Sidenote: This is how Chuck Norris deals with people who capture American soldiers...
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