Extreme Bachelorhood: An Expose

Doc. #1

Subject: Tim O.
Age: 39
Status: Extreme Bachelor

The subject being analyzed today is an example of extreme bachelorhood.  Document #1 above illustrates several components of bachelorhood.  Note the socks and boxer shorts combination.  This is evidence of not caring about his appearance at home.  Data is lacking on whether or not he is wearing a shirt.  Circumstantial evidence points to this being unlikely.  The picture also indicates couch potato activity as evidenced by the television being on.  Further research confirms both a Cox TV account (with far more channels than he could possibly watch) and a Netflix account.  The Netflix account has both a streaming AND a physical DVD/Blu-Ray component.  Highly disturbing.


Doc. #2

It appears there are 3 beers, a bottle of Pepsi, some Diet Cherry 7-Up, and...some cheese.  A background interview has confirmed that the one actual food item is a yogurt cup someone else left there months ago...likely long expired.  When asked why he hadn't thrown it away, the subject replied non-verbally, with a shrug of his shoulders.  This was followed by him talking to himself about needing to clean out the kitchen.


Doc. #3

He is good on nuts and Sweet 'n Low.  Further interviews determined that uses it for tea in the winter.  However, when pressed he seemed unsure whether he liked tea or just lots of Sweet 'n Low in something liquid.  The presence of Big League Chew is highly disturbing for a man his age.  He replied with the following statement:
"You put a pinch between your cheek and gum!"

Conclusions:
- Actual Emotional Age: 23
- Desperately needs a woman's touch in his household.
- Nutrition level: Famine